Couple Distress

In the world couple relationship  has undergone significant changes with respect to the traditional roles.
Today the couple’s relationship is no longer ensured, as before, by a marriage contract and by the economic dependence of a partner on the other one.
It is founded on the capacity to relate to one another  and there are no guarantees, with respect to its continuity, if not a hard and ongoing work on the relationship itself.
An adult and mature individual finds in the relationship with the other person the emotional and physical satisfaction which he needs and he is able to give the same to his partner.
It is a reciprocal and constructive relationship.
The couple consists of two individuals, each of whom with his own history, his own character and therefore his own inner world.
Therefore, a couple may be thought of as a relationship made of two worlds which come together  creating a unique relationship.
If one of the two people should meet another person, there would be a different relationship.
When unease takes place in a couple, it is important to understand what has happened in the specific relationship between those two people.
A couple which argues loses harmony.
For a couple, living a certain degree of conflict may be an incentive for a reciprocal change, provided that it is considered how each partner can tolerate disagreement.
Fighting, however, may also become the couple’s style of relating to one other.
It is a way which may be useful not only not to separate but indeed may reinforce the relationship because the two individuals, not tolerating to be alone, continue to fight to remain together.
In quarrelling, even if only practised in thought, the other is always present.
Indeed, anxiety, the pain of a possible separation,separation, loneliness, abandonment are driven away. If the individual is not emotionally solid enough to face these emotions, it will be unbearable for him to separate.
In couple conflict, it often happens that each partner reacts to the other by reverberating his own  unsolved problems which are specular or complementary to those of his partner, that are just as problematic.
The inner world of one is activated thanks to the behaviour of the other.
The couple needs to step out from a dimension of guilt, each regaining his own  responsibility in his way of relating.
In the couple each partner counts 50%.
The therapist will not be a judge for the couple but a promoter of a work of reading of the couple’s dynamics in progress to make them evolve, to restore an interrupted dialogue.